Meet my friend, Despair

Days ago I was in the depth of despair. I found the burden of my desires to be too strong a weight to cope with. I was in a sorry, sorry state, and it was only being with my parents that I could find some kind of relief. I guess I had put too much stock in the fact that I did quite well with the interview; then finding out that I missed out on the job, but I don't know why. Looking from the perspective of despair, I could see a line of this feeling reaching right through the year - pain and loneliness gripping me whether keenly felt or deep beneath the surface. In the episode preceding this recent one, I decided it high-time to visit a doctor and again seek therapy. And in the most recent episode, I wondered whether I could cope on my own, given the depth of despair. Again, I seriously considered staying with my parents, even though I had thought of that option of the least-preferred. Well, as I was reading something rather psychological in orientation, I began to think about the idea of studying psychology. I looked into the course details, and thought about the potential of living with the parents while studying. Suddenly, this appeared to be a very sensible and worthy option.

Remaining in Melbourne means returning to IT work, which is not really my heart's desire. The previous post speaking about my option for intentional community is all well and good; however, is it really a good idea? Who knows what kind of psychotics you could end up with, maybe another Koresh! This will take me into an arena which is already a hobby. And what the heck, if I don't like it, I can just try something else later. I'd rather take the risk now and give it a go rather than wonder what it would be like.