Positive Directions

My flirtation with an amoral lifestyle is getting rather boring. Doing whatever I feel like at the time is not exactly a pleasurable way to live, at least in the long run. By and large, I am still lonely and sad. Being in this space in between, I note the relationships surrounding me as a stark contrast to my lack. I'm tired of the cafe lifestyle now; I do love my coffee, but wandering in and out of cafe's alone, or with the same friend, is such a bore. Speaking of that friend, oh how much I have struggled with that friendship! Now there is a sex-obsessed character, constantly sizing up the females around, constantly coming up with lewd and crude comments. I can make these judgments now, but I join in when with him! His whole philosophy on life is so very uninspiring, utterly self-centered and degraded. Yet, I go back to him time and time again, to meet my social needs, for without him around I just have my own company.

Given all this, it is such a relief to now be letting it go and moving on back to the Gold Coast. No more funky cafe's (apart from Three Beans, which I believe is superior to them all down here!) in the area, no more being overwhelmed by choice of what to do, when the event calendar is full on a daily basis. Surprisingly, the Gold Coast has stepped up a notch from before in spiritual options, with classes on meditation available all over the place. Given that daily meditation is one of my new year resolutions (and I haven't started yet), that's a bonus.

Then, there was the joy of gaining acceptance to study psychology at Griffith Uni. It was quite a lead up, first conceiving the idea, applying for the position, then waiting for the response. Thankfully, a phone call to the uni brought the good news home. As such, I now await this momentous change eagerly, all the while feeling like the husband in the waiting room waiting for the baby to be delivered - time seems to pass oh-so slowly.

I took on a service desk job, of all things, to pay my way until I leave. It's as boring as hell, such monotonous work, but I now have more savings than ever before. That's temporary, as I have now finally dealt with the debt problem mentioned earlier in the blog - utilizing the 0% balance transfer offer. What with uni expenses - textbooks, fees and the like, in addition to the move, I'll have no savings left, but at least will chip away a fair bit at the debt. Then it's on to a more simple life, spending a lot less given a fair smack of my needs are met by virtue of my parents.

OK, so it's not going to be easy living back with them, I've made that clear, but one thing I need is solid companionship, after having such a lonely dry spell. That'll be core in my recovery process. Here's hoping that we can get along rather nicely, despite Dad's moodiness and Mum's stress.