The Crossroads

Yet again I have reached a major crossroads of decision. Only a year ago I was in a similar position, after my relationship break-up, where I considered moving back north with the parents. It's a big call, considering that I've built a life here, and potentially leave a lot of the things I love behind. Yet, I feel especially emotionally vulnerable, with only a few friends to console with. Alone in my head, at times I feel I just cannot cope with life, with the many pressures, with the things I see with society that I don't like - I want that eject button, but am far from equating ejection with suicide. I just want out, I want freedom from this society, from the demands, from consumerism, from the mentality. I guess that was one major reason I quit the job, yet I feel so bound as I require working in the system to maintain my lifestyle. Hence, there is no need if I live with my parents.

But there, what is there to do? The Gold Coast is built primarily around entertainment. It is one of the more self-serving cities in Australia. It certainly does not house people like myself who are critical of industry, who crave simplicity. Tambourine Mountain, now that is an exception, but unless there's some commune up there, it's just not an option.

........this was an unfinished post, and I've now reached some clarity, which deserves a new post. Suffice to say that I now feel some direction, whereas yesterday I was emotionally exhausted from the mental conflict.